


They’re gay, Orton

by Heloflor



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans Vinnie Dakota
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 18:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30127290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heloflor/pseuds/Heloflor
Summary: “Hey ! Don’t do that ! I don’t have a time machine to go back and un-die you.”“And if you get hurt, I don’t have one either !”“Aww. That was touching.”
Relationships: Balthazar Cavendish/Vinnie Dakota
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	They’re gay, Orton

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little drabble I wanted to make because, when I think of the crossover, it never fails to make me laugh to see Orton comment on how cute Cavendish and Dakota are with each other, only to make Doctor Zone and Time Ape brothers in his show. Orton is a guy from the 60s with no gaydar whatsoever and I find this hilarious. On that same note, I also went back to see how Time Ape is described in “The Doctor Zone Files” and it’s pretty interesting how he’s a “transchronological being” who chose his current form. So this fic is a very short thing that covers both these ideas.
> 
> Despite what the title and summary may indicate, this fic takes place when the group of adults just got stuck into the timestream and is more focused on Cavendish and Dakota than Orton (making titles and summaries is hard, alright).
> 
> (And regarding something in the fic, yes I know Dakota knows the word “peculiar”, as we see in “School Dance” for example; but I wanted to make a “Dakota doesn’t know complicated words” moment for once.)
> 
> This fic also goes into the direction of what I wrote last time, with Cavendish and Dakota being married but hiding their relationship due to homophobia from the past.
> 
> Enjoy !

Vinnie was bored.

He didn’t know how long they’ve been stuck in the time-stream, he didn’t know if there even was a point of wondering it. But what he knew is that he wasn’t going to be able to just sit there in silence for much longer. He needed some form of stimulation. Something, _anything_ that could busy his mind.

He looked at the man facing him. Balth was messing with their intercommunicator, surely in an attempt to get them out of here.

“Hey.”, Vinnie tried to get his attention.

“One moment. I’m trying something.”, the taller man grumbled, getting more and more frustrated with the device.

Vinnie sighed. “Maybe I should just sing the zoo song.”, he murmured.

“Please don’t.”

“Why not ?”

“I don’t want to spend all eternity listening to the same two verses.”, his husband explained, putting the communicator away.

“Aw come on ! It’s a good song !”, Vinnie playfully replied. Balth didn’t budge and only looked more annoyed. “Besides, it makes me happy. Unlike the way a certain someone just keeps complaining.”, he continued playfully.

“Hmph.”, Vinnie immediately regretted his words as he noticed the hurt in Balth’s eyes along with the anger he was conveying.

“Hey, I’m sorry.”, he took Balth’s hand in his. “Y-you know I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t hate it when you complain. Well, it’s a tad annoying…but you get the point.”, he shrugged.

His husband nodded, making it clear that he understood. His eyes, however, kept looking between their joined hands and the man sitting next to Vinnie. Orton was scribbling again, stopping for a second to give the pair a glance before going back to his writing, only to freeze and look at the two again.

“Something on your mind ?”, Vinnie couldn’t help but ask the man.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”, Orton replied, almost looking like a child who was caught eavesdropping. “It’s just that the two of you have such a peculiar relationship.”

“Pecu-what ?”, the shorter man asked.

“Peculiar.”, Balth explained with an eye-roll. “It means strange but fascinating.”, the taller man turned his attention to the future TV star. “What makes you say such a thing ?”

“It’s the way you two act.”, Orton explained. “Since I’ve met you earlier, you kept arguing about anything and everything. But you always manage to keep working with each other and get along, as if all those arguments never happened at all.”

“Huh. I guess we _do_ argue a lot.”, Vinnie commented while glancing at his husband with a smile. The taller man, however, was still focused on the other man. And was it just Vinnie, or did Balth looked tense, almost afraid ?

“It’s funny to see such a friendship.”, Orton continued. “It’s like the two of you were brothers.”

“B-brothers ?!”, Balth spluttered.

Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea, not helped by Balthazar’s reaction. In all his years of time-travel, he and Balth had been called a lot of things. But acting like brothers ? As in biological brothers and not brothers in arms ? From someone less than two centuries away from their time-period ? That was new. Vinnie had to admit, he would never stop being surprised by how oblivious people could be in the past, no matter how close to his present they were.

“Actually,”, Vinnie decided to correct. “we’re marr-“

“Yes, just like brothers !”, Balth interrupted, laughing awkwardly. Vinnie could only frown as the taller man silenced him with his hand. “After everything we’ve been through so much together, it’s like we always knew each other !”

“Yeah.”, the shorter man grumpily continued after removing Balth’s hand from his face. “And you should really tell _your wife_ how great of a brother in-law she has.”, Vinnie tried to keep a relaxed tone, though he couldn’t help but glare at the man.

Balth returned his glare but stayed silent. From the corner of his eye, Vinnie could see his husband playing with his ring, his fingers slowly rubbing the metal.

“Can any of you help me with this ?”, Professor Time suddenly interrupted. He and his platypus friend were trying to push one of the cabinets of the time-machine.

“I can help !”, Orton replied as he stood up.

Once the other men were all out of earshot, the remaining pair had the same thought. Balth grabbed Vinnie’s arm and their face came closer.

“This man is from the 60s.”, Balth half-shouted half-whispered. “We can’t just go around telling him about our relationship !”

“He’s a nice guy !”, Vinnie argued.

“Just because he’s helping us now doesn’t mean he will be fine with two men liking each other !”

“But what if he does ? And if he doesn’t, so what ? He sees us as his friends. If he cares for us, he can realize that there’s nothing wrong with it and that we’re just normal people ! And what if he doesn’t think about it because it’s not a thing for him ? Because that doesn’t mean he’s against it !”

“Dakota.”, Balth took a deep breath, seemingly deflating. “Listen. The world is in grave danger. We might be the only people left who aren’t plants. If we tell Orton about us, we might cause a divide in the group. And we can’t afford that right now !”, after a quick look at the taco stand, he took Vinnie’s hand in his, gently rubbing it with his thumb. “We need to keep our relationship a secret from everyone. This is the safest thing we can do, especially with what’s happening right now. We simply cannot risk it.”

“…”, Vinnie sighed. “I hate it when you’re right about this.”, he pulled away, crossing his arms. “Alright, I won’t tell him. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”

“I don’t expect you to be.”, his husband replied with a more compassionate tone.

When Orton came back to the table, he looked at the pair curiously but didn’t make any comment. He simply sat back, his head on the table. And that was the end of it.

Vinnie was still feeling a bit angry. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand about his marriage, it was the need to hide it just because of what some people might do to him. To _Balth_. But at least he learnt to live with this lie. And Balth was much more affectionate when they were in the present, making the whole thing bearable.

…And now that this entire talk was done, and with the two men at the table having the same idea to try sleeping, he yet again found himself with nothing to do but be bored.

* * *

After what felt like forever, they finally got their hands on some time juice. Thanks to the strange way the time-stream worked, the group somehow found the moment Vinnie got the clocks into it. Now they were almost on their way to 1965, waiting for Professor Time to fuel his time-machine.

“We are finally going to have a chance to get rid of those pistachios once and for all.”, Balth said not without relief, echoing Vinnie’s thoughts.

“Yeah.”, the shorter man replied. “And it’s about time too. If we’d have stayed stuck here several days, I would’ve started running out of those.”, forgetting about the time-period of the people around him, he took his testosterone doses out of his pocket.

“Since when do you carry those with you ?”, Balth commented.

“For a while now, in case it runs out.”, Vinnie elbowed his husband. “Looks like you’re starting to rub off on me.”

“It’s about time.”, the taller man replied with a small smile.

“Wait.”, Professor Time suddenly interrupted, the time-juice container in hand. “Why do you need to take hormones ?”, the professor gasped. “Does that mean you’re-! Wow, the future must have great surgeons, I never would’ve guessed !”

“Thanks.”, Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle. While the man with the annoying voice definitely wasn’t the portrait he made of the great hero who invented time-travel, there was still some pride in seeing the great Professor Time compliment him.

“They sure do.”, Balth replied as well, putting a hand on Vinnie’s shoulder. Whether it was in jealousy from seeing his hero compliment someone else or in protection due to what the professor may have grown up to believe about men like him, Vinnie couldn’t tell.

“Wait. What are you referring to ?”, Orton asked.

“Oh. Uhhh.”, Vinnie and Balth shared a look, and the shorter man didn’t miss how his husband immediately tensed. But now that the TV star heard, it would be rude not to answer him. “H-how to explain it simply…”

“Just do it like you were telling it to a child.”, Balth suggested in a lower voice. “You like children, right ?”

“Yeah. Yeah ok. Alright.”, Vinnie cleared his throat, his attention back on Orton, a man who was _definitely_ not like a child. He felt Balth let go of him. _Not helping_ , he mentally grumbled. “You see…when-when I was a kid…let’s just say I didn’t look like I do know. I mean, of course I grew up and changed but, ahem. Look, let’s just say that, when I was born, I wasn’t born a boy. I-I looked like a girl.”

“You wear born a girl ?!”, despite his tone, Orton looked more fascinated than repulsed.

“ _Noooot_ exactly. I always was a boy. But when I was a kid, I, well I guess it was like I was trapped in a girl’s body. Everyone thought I was a girl, and for a while, I thought I did too. But I always wanted to look more like my brother. I often tried to wear his clothes and do things like him.”, Vinnie found himself smile at the memory. It was such a long time ago…”Eventually, I realized that I was a boy. So when I became a teenager, my oldest brother made sure I grew up like one. And here I am now.”

“So you were born with a different body, like a woman’s body, but chose to become a man ?”

“I wouldn’t say I chose but, yeah I guess that’s the main idea.”, Vinnie shrugged.

“Fascinating. I’m not sure I understand everything about it but…”, the TV star started writing in his notepad again. Vinnie hoped it didn’t mean bad news for him.

“You don’t have to understand it.”, Balth interrupted, his hand back on his husband’s shoulder. “The only thing to understand is that Dakota is a man, in both mind and body.”

“Oh you sure would know _that_.~”, the shorter man couldn’t help but joke, earning a glare from the taller man.

“Alright gang !”, Professor Time interjected as he got back to the counter. “The time-juice is in. And this time, we’ll have enough to go in and out. 1965, here we come !”

**Author's Note:**

> For those curious about my headcanons : Dakota has three siblings, two brothers and one sister. Also the brother mentioned for the clothes is two years older than Vinnie, which is mostly why Vinnie went to him to get some clothes since it wouldn’t be that big on him. Also also, Vinnie is the youngest of the siblings (he’s the baby bro and he sometimes “hates” it, mostly because he has no-one to tease/coddle like the other three do, especially the two oldest).
> 
> This is the first time I not only write about a trans character but also made the fact that they’re trans be a subject of discussion; so I hope I did ok on that front.
> 
> And speaking of which, for those wondering about that too : I don’t see Heinz as a trans man. He’s definitely a crossdresser, and I completely understand why people see him as trans, but personally, I don’t really see it. So him being completely fine with Vinnie is less about him being able to relate and more about him being a decent person.
> 
> And one last thing : yes, Vinnie “””“”fully””””” transitioned. Hence the “both in mind and body” part (and my god does this sound transphobic when said like that…and that’s coming from someone who’s enby and wants to transition to male). So while I doubt that I’ll ever mention what Dakota has in his pants, don’t expect me to write something in which he falls pregnant or is able to.
> 
> Thanks for reading !


End file.
